play along: let's just call it vintage friday and leave it at that . . . soooooo, in light of this festive occassion (hellu, it's vintage friday) these are two of my most fave blog entries that i've ever posted on my late great myspace blog. enjoy:
Ever driven a hearse on chrome?
Only in Atlanta. This is from years ago but it still is on of my favorite memories.
I went to Sears to get my car serviced and what started off as a simple tire rotation and oil change turned into my most memorable ghetto moment to date. Because I never meet a stranger, I was leaning on the counter in my four-inch platform boots having the most intense conversation with the cashier about the search for the most perfect eyebrow archer in town when the mechanic comes around to tell me there's a problem. The screw, bolt or whatever he called it broke off of one of my wheels. Problem being, the wheels were already removed from the car and they don't have the proper lug nut (that's it) to replace it. Soooooo, they offer me the keys to the mechanic's car (seriously who does this happen to) to drive to the Suzuki dealership to pick up another one. Apparently, I was supposed to be flattered because all his co-workers went on and on like . . .
"Uh uh girl what? He don't let nobody even lean on his ride"
"Oh my gah, man. I got to take a picture of this"
"Guuuuurl, you must got that whip appeal or he must be sick. I can't believe this"
Crazy but . . . I took the keys (no one could leave because they were so backed up already). By now I'm just like whateva, give me the key. When he walked me out and showed me the car I thought for sure I was getting punked. The damn car was as long as my mother's house!! The pedal was so freakin' heavy that my thigh was sore by the time I got to my destination.
Oh. Back up. After I got in he goes (I swear to God), "The permit for the gun is in the sunvisor." He was smiling like he just won a car show, y'all. What was I supposed to do? Once I got comfortable, I drove the hell out of that car. I remember continuously checking my lip gloss in this great rearview mirror admiring that it was even bigger and better than the one in my bathroom at home.
So I get to the dealership . . . I promise you that I was turning heads. Invision it: hair freshly done just right, curvaceous, long-legged stunner in a black wrap dress with boots to match, walking in like I'm the modern day Pam Grier. I figured that if I'm ridin' dirty then I might as well play the part. I mean. When I walked in . . . silence. Broken when one guy was like, "Where'd you get those rims. My cousin got the twenties." I had no idea what he was talkin' about. I just flashed a friendly smile and looked back and stated, "It's not my car."
I got back to the auto body shop. Relayed the part they were waiting for. In exchange for my duties and day of bonding, I received a check to reimburse me for my mileage, free service and a hug from each of my newfound friends.
True story.
i almost died today
there was a spider (we'll call him satan-in-costume for short) that jumped out of my sunvisor on the way to work this morning and i literally went awol at the exact moment that i was supposed to be driving.
i seriously have been on edge for a little while now and i'm finding myself nodding my head going, "you know what? i'm really understanding that whole britney spears episode more and more each day". the craziness just won't stop. i'm looking in the mirror every morning on my way out the door like, "aiight, britney. here we go." (new mantra)from my dementia-ridden nanna to my cancer-diagnosed faaaavorite uncle back to the ridiculously low balance in the bank up thru the love that i'm longing for, i'm stressed out. isn't it funny (not really) as soon as i'm like, "alright. no more!!" here comes satan-in-costume . . . biatch!!
so naturally (for the neurotic it's natural), i had to spend my whole freakin' lunch hour in my car looking for his ass. no where to be found.
so . . . if you try to contact me tomorrow and you can't, please call 911. i probably have been secretly bitten and can't move and in dying need for some medical attention. thanks.
Ever driven a hearse on chrome?
Only in Atlanta. This is from years ago but it still is on of my favorite memories.
I went to Sears to get my car serviced and what started off as a simple tire rotation and oil change turned into my most memorable ghetto moment to date. Because I never meet a stranger, I was leaning on the counter in my four-inch platform boots having the most intense conversation with the cashier about the search for the most perfect eyebrow archer in town when the mechanic comes around to tell me there's a problem. The screw, bolt or whatever he called it broke off of one of my wheels. Problem being, the wheels were already removed from the car and they don't have the proper lug nut (that's it) to replace it. Soooooo, they offer me the keys to the mechanic's car (seriously who does this happen to) to drive to the Suzuki dealership to pick up another one. Apparently, I was supposed to be flattered because all his co-workers went on and on like . . .
"Uh uh girl what? He don't let nobody even lean on his ride"
"Oh my gah, man. I got to take a picture of this"
"Guuuuurl, you must got that whip appeal or he must be sick. I can't believe this"
Crazy but . . . I took the keys (no one could leave because they were so backed up already). By now I'm just like whateva, give me the key. When he walked me out and showed me the car I thought for sure I was getting punked. The damn car was as long as my mother's house!! The pedal was so freakin' heavy that my thigh was sore by the time I got to my destination.
Oh. Back up. After I got in he goes (I swear to God), "The permit for the gun is in the sunvisor." He was smiling like he just won a car show, y'all. What was I supposed to do? Once I got comfortable, I drove the hell out of that car. I remember continuously checking my lip gloss in this great rearview mirror admiring that it was even bigger and better than the one in my bathroom at home.
So I get to the dealership . . . I promise you that I was turning heads. Invision it: hair freshly done just right, curvaceous, long-legged stunner in a black wrap dress with boots to match, walking in like I'm the modern day Pam Grier. I figured that if I'm ridin' dirty then I might as well play the part. I mean. When I walked in . . . silence. Broken when one guy was like, "Where'd you get those rims. My cousin got the twenties." I had no idea what he was talkin' about. I just flashed a friendly smile and looked back and stated, "It's not my car."
I got back to the auto body shop. Relayed the part they were waiting for. In exchange for my duties and day of bonding, I received a check to reimburse me for my mileage, free service and a hug from each of my newfound friends.
True story.
i almost died today
there was a spider (we'll call him satan-in-costume for short) that jumped out of my sunvisor on the way to work this morning and i literally went awol at the exact moment that i was supposed to be driving.
i seriously have been on edge for a little while now and i'm finding myself nodding my head going, "you know what? i'm really understanding that whole britney spears episode more and more each day". the craziness just won't stop. i'm looking in the mirror every morning on my way out the door like, "aiight, britney. here we go." (new mantra)from my dementia-ridden nanna to my cancer-diagnosed faaaavorite uncle back to the ridiculously low balance in the bank up thru the love that i'm longing for, i'm stressed out. isn't it funny (not really) as soon as i'm like, "alright. no more!!" here comes satan-in-costume . . . biatch!!
so naturally (for the neurotic it's natural), i had to spend my whole freakin' lunch hour in my car looking for his ass. no where to be found.
so . . . if you try to contact me tomorrow and you can't, please call 911. i probably have been secretly bitten and can't move and in dying need for some medical attention. thanks.
4 comments:
i like your braids-however is that nicrexic richie on your wall-i'm distrubed-she is disturbing-her and her dirty baby daddy will have a disturbing baby. however the braids are cool.
mama say mama saw ma mak oo saw
mama say mama saw ma mak oo saw
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5070142
go to the link above- this chick has some really cute stationary! do it now!
i have to agree w/ shari..omg.......is she actually pregnant? her pooch isn't from malnutrition? scary!!! she needs to gain some weight to nourish that baby....can't wait to read a new blog. what happened to natural hair? oh yes...you do love to change in the blink of an eye. xoxo
Your braids are cute. I am laughing so hard right now about the spider story. If that was me I'd be dead!
CB
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