how come not having any money in the bank doesn't get me down?
i mean i used to get stressed about the bills
i used to cry
now i'm just kinda like, whateva let's go to the bookstore
and get some starbucks
i just want to enjoy my life
i just want to share that enjoyment with my booka
every single day
am i supposed to be stressed?
i don't think so
life is short
we've heard it a million, three thousand and twenty-two times at least
and if i dropped dead when i finished typing this
wouldn't the bank account balance and the bills still be there?
i guess it wouldn't matter then
my ma called tonight
to let me know that some student loan bill
one that i already paid came in the mail
again
it said that it's a nursing loan
i was not a nursing major
so what's a nursing loan?
great (total sarcasm)
whatevs
i just want to be free
i don't want to be one of those people
people who pride themselves on calling themselves a free spirit
laidback
i want to genuinely be a free spirit
i mean
i want stuff
i want a home
i want a family
i want to walk in a store and buy a caftan if i want it
mmm
and coach has a cute one that i'd love to have
but the damn thing costs more than my car payment
and more than my rent
that's a no no
but you get the point
what is the point?
why save if you can't get what you want?
i mean it's nice to have a cushion to get what you need
but if you can't get what you want
there's no fun
goal:
a fun loving free spirit with a cushion
the new age hippie
the modern hippie
if there could be such
i just want to be happy
but most of all
i want everyone around me to be happy
i want my man to be happy
and satisfied
i don't want him to ever have to worry about a thing
and my girlfriends and fam too
let's all be happy
and celebrate
and enjoy
savoring it all
and we can have it too
all we gotta do
is pray
amen
7.28.2007
7.20.2007
TGIVF (thank god it's vintage friday)
play along: let's just call it vintage friday and leave it at that . . . soooooo, in light of this festive occassion (hellu, it's vintage friday) these are two of my most fave blog entries that i've ever posted on my late great myspace blog. enjoy:
Ever driven a hearse on chrome?
Only in Atlanta. This is from years ago but it still is on of my favorite memories.
I went to Sears to get my car serviced and what started off as a simple tire rotation and oil change turned into my most memorable ghetto moment to date. Because I never meet a stranger, I was leaning on the counter in my four-inch platform boots having the most intense conversation with the cashier about the search for the most perfect eyebrow archer in town when the mechanic comes around to tell me there's a problem. The screw, bolt or whatever he called it broke off of one of my wheels. Problem being, the wheels were already removed from the car and they don't have the proper lug nut (that's it) to replace it. Soooooo, they offer me the keys to the mechanic's car (seriously who does this happen to) to drive to the Suzuki dealership to pick up another one. Apparently, I was supposed to be flattered because all his co-workers went on and on like . . .
"Uh uh girl what? He don't let nobody even lean on his ride"
"Oh my gah, man. I got to take a picture of this"
"Guuuuurl, you must got that whip appeal or he must be sick. I can't believe this"
Crazy but . . . I took the keys (no one could leave because they were so backed up already). By now I'm just like whateva, give me the key. When he walked me out and showed me the car I thought for sure I was getting punked. The damn car was as long as my mother's house!! The pedal was so freakin' heavy that my thigh was sore by the time I got to my destination.
Oh. Back up. After I got in he goes (I swear to God), "The permit for the gun is in the sunvisor." He was smiling like he just won a car show, y'all. What was I supposed to do? Once I got comfortable, I drove the hell out of that car. I remember continuously checking my lip gloss in this great rearview mirror admiring that it was even bigger and better than the one in my bathroom at home.
So I get to the dealership . . . I promise you that I was turning heads. Invision it: hair freshly done just right, curvaceous, long-legged stunner in a black wrap dress with boots to match, walking in like I'm the modern day Pam Grier. I figured that if I'm ridin' dirty then I might as well play the part. I mean. When I walked in . . . silence. Broken when one guy was like, "Where'd you get those rims. My cousin got the twenties." I had no idea what he was talkin' about. I just flashed a friendly smile and looked back and stated, "It's not my car."
I got back to the auto body shop. Relayed the part they were waiting for. In exchange for my duties and day of bonding, I received a check to reimburse me for my mileage, free service and a hug from each of my newfound friends.
True story.
i almost died today
there was a spider (we'll call him satan-in-costume for short) that jumped out of my sunvisor on the way to work this morning and i literally went awol at the exact moment that i was supposed to be driving.
i seriously have been on edge for a little while now and i'm finding myself nodding my head going, "you know what? i'm really understanding that whole britney spears episode more and more each day". the craziness just won't stop. i'm looking in the mirror every morning on my way out the door like, "aiight, britney. here we go." (new mantra)from my dementia-ridden nanna to my cancer-diagnosed faaaavorite uncle back to the ridiculously low balance in the bank up thru the love that i'm longing for, i'm stressed out. isn't it funny (not really) as soon as i'm like, "alright. no more!!" here comes satan-in-costume . . . biatch!!
so naturally (for the neurotic it's natural), i had to spend my whole freakin' lunch hour in my car looking for his ass. no where to be found.
so . . . if you try to contact me tomorrow and you can't, please call 911. i probably have been secretly bitten and can't move and in dying need for some medical attention. thanks.
Ever driven a hearse on chrome?
Only in Atlanta. This is from years ago but it still is on of my favorite memories.
I went to Sears to get my car serviced and what started off as a simple tire rotation and oil change turned into my most memorable ghetto moment to date. Because I never meet a stranger, I was leaning on the counter in my four-inch platform boots having the most intense conversation with the cashier about the search for the most perfect eyebrow archer in town when the mechanic comes around to tell me there's a problem. The screw, bolt or whatever he called it broke off of one of my wheels. Problem being, the wheels were already removed from the car and they don't have the proper lug nut (that's it) to replace it. Soooooo, they offer me the keys to the mechanic's car (seriously who does this happen to) to drive to the Suzuki dealership to pick up another one. Apparently, I was supposed to be flattered because all his co-workers went on and on like . . .
"Uh uh girl what? He don't let nobody even lean on his ride"
"Oh my gah, man. I got to take a picture of this"
"Guuuuurl, you must got that whip appeal or he must be sick. I can't believe this"
Crazy but . . . I took the keys (no one could leave because they were so backed up already). By now I'm just like whateva, give me the key. When he walked me out and showed me the car I thought for sure I was getting punked. The damn car was as long as my mother's house!! The pedal was so freakin' heavy that my thigh was sore by the time I got to my destination.
Oh. Back up. After I got in he goes (I swear to God), "The permit for the gun is in the sunvisor." He was smiling like he just won a car show, y'all. What was I supposed to do? Once I got comfortable, I drove the hell out of that car. I remember continuously checking my lip gloss in this great rearview mirror admiring that it was even bigger and better than the one in my bathroom at home.
So I get to the dealership . . . I promise you that I was turning heads. Invision it: hair freshly done just right, curvaceous, long-legged stunner in a black wrap dress with boots to match, walking in like I'm the modern day Pam Grier. I figured that if I'm ridin' dirty then I might as well play the part. I mean. When I walked in . . . silence. Broken when one guy was like, "Where'd you get those rims. My cousin got the twenties." I had no idea what he was talkin' about. I just flashed a friendly smile and looked back and stated, "It's not my car."
I got back to the auto body shop. Relayed the part they were waiting for. In exchange for my duties and day of bonding, I received a check to reimburse me for my mileage, free service and a hug from each of my newfound friends.
True story.
i almost died today
there was a spider (we'll call him satan-in-costume for short) that jumped out of my sunvisor on the way to work this morning and i literally went awol at the exact moment that i was supposed to be driving.
i seriously have been on edge for a little while now and i'm finding myself nodding my head going, "you know what? i'm really understanding that whole britney spears episode more and more each day". the craziness just won't stop. i'm looking in the mirror every morning on my way out the door like, "aiight, britney. here we go." (new mantra)from my dementia-ridden nanna to my cancer-diagnosed faaaavorite uncle back to the ridiculously low balance in the bank up thru the love that i'm longing for, i'm stressed out. isn't it funny (not really) as soon as i'm like, "alright. no more!!" here comes satan-in-costume . . . biatch!!
so naturally (for the neurotic it's natural), i had to spend my whole freakin' lunch hour in my car looking for his ass. no where to be found.
so . . . if you try to contact me tomorrow and you can't, please call 911. i probably have been secretly bitten and can't move and in dying need for some medical attention. thanks.
7.12.2007
what up, cootie queens?
this rerun of girlfriends got me thinking about babies
well
a baby
(just to be clear - joan thinks she's pregnant, not me)
but
if i did just pee on a stick
and it showed that cream is gonna be a daddy
what would i do (hypothetically speaking)
whew
i'm having a flashback to that proposal gone wrong
never mind
attempt to tell a story : take two
i have a girlfriend that moms the funniest little boy
(well besides zachi and justin oh and never mind)
anyway the kid is hella funny
so today i hear this story:
her husband called in a panic for her to get home because she wouldn't believe what he's looking at . so she gets home . she gets escorted upstairs . she gets into the hallway and views twenty-four unravelled rolls of tissue (i bet it was the double rolls too) . when she asked him (her kid)why . he let her know that he was pretending to be snowboarding and one roll of tissue wasn't enough snow. (envision it . insert: laugh)
well
a baby
(just to be clear - joan thinks she's pregnant, not me)
but
if i did just pee on a stick
and it showed that cream is gonna be a daddy
what would i do (hypothetically speaking)
whew
i'm having a flashback to that proposal gone wrong
never mind
attempt to tell a story : take two
i have a girlfriend that moms the funniest little boy
(well besides zachi and justin oh and never mind)
anyway the kid is hella funny
so today i hear this story:
her husband called in a panic for her to get home because she wouldn't believe what he's looking at . so she gets home . she gets escorted upstairs . she gets into the hallway and views twenty-four unravelled rolls of tissue (i bet it was the double rolls too) . when she asked him (her kid)why . he let her know that he was pretending to be snowboarding and one roll of tissue wasn't enough snow. (envision it . insert: laugh)
7.11.2007
district of hotness
the sun in dc is on fireand the next friend or beau that wants to go out in the middle of the day,
i'll pass
between the tantrum i had to sit next to
and
the prideful walk i shared to find a train
and
the tan line i didn't ask for (cranky)
it's gonna be a long hot summer
and
next time i won't wear all black to it
7.06.2007
my daddy: the pimp
mercedes,
you have so much imagination and creativity and spirit and purpose and vision and love and hope and goals. now how do we convert that into lots of cash.
daddio
you have so much imagination and creativity and spirit and purpose and vision and love and hope and goals. now how do we convert that into lots of cash.
daddio
7.02.2007
Bradford Ralph Clark 1948-2007
Every night before I lay to rest
I watch the pounding of my bare chest
I’m replaying it all inside my heart
And wonder just when did your end start
Every morning inside my car
I wonder if your body knows where you are
I’m double checking over my right shoulder
And I can hear my tear drop as hard as a boulder
Every time I adjust the rearview
I am reminded of the last time that I saw you
I’m nervous that I didn’t tell you that I loved you enough
And then I know I’m trippin’ with all that foolish fluff
Every moment that you looked at me the night before
I told you that I loved you down to the core
I’m so in love with my Daddy Brad
And having talks with an uncle like you always made things not so bad
Every thought of Uncle Jamal always made me feel sad for you
I know that losing your brother like that was a lot to go thru
I’m now feeling the loss and pain of not being able to help
And waking up in the middle of the night wanting to blame myself
Every second that I sped to the hospital is such a blur to me
I got there as fast as I could only praying for God to give relief
I’m a believer in His word and know what’s meant to be will happen
And realizing this each day is getting easier with the help of my Captain
Every day I look at your ashes wondering should I set them free
I am keeping it as a reminder for now, sorta like a diary
I’m blessed to have spent your last two days no further than a foot away
And I’ll keep those memories with me forever and ever and a day
© 2007 by MTBC - All Rights Reserved
I watch the pounding of my bare chest
I’m replaying it all inside my heart
And wonder just when did your end start
Every morning inside my car
I wonder if your body knows where you are
I’m double checking over my right shoulder
And I can hear my tear drop as hard as a boulder
Every time I adjust the rearview
I am reminded of the last time that I saw you
I’m nervous that I didn’t tell you that I loved you enough
And then I know I’m trippin’ with all that foolish fluff
Every moment that you looked at me the night before
I told you that I loved you down to the core
I’m so in love with my Daddy Brad
And having talks with an uncle like you always made things not so bad
Every thought of Uncle Jamal always made me feel sad for you
I know that losing your brother like that was a lot to go thru
I’m now feeling the loss and pain of not being able to help
And waking up in the middle of the night wanting to blame myself
Every second that I sped to the hospital is such a blur to me
I got there as fast as I could only praying for God to give relief
I’m a believer in His word and know what’s meant to be will happen
And realizing this each day is getting easier with the help of my Captain
Every day I look at your ashes wondering should I set them free
I am keeping it as a reminder for now, sorta like a diary
I’m blessed to have spent your last two days no further than a foot away
And I’ll keep those memories with me forever and ever and a day
© 2007 by MTBC - All Rights Reserved
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