where does a gal find a hot pink pillow in this town?

target. that and all the other goodies that i put on today's to-get list: rainbath, a pink puff for the shower, a powder poof, sesame body oil & that new dove cream oil body wash.

today is totally a sex-and-the-city-dvd day. i was up from 12:27 to 3:33 (all a.m.) on the phone having one of the most ________ (i can't figure out what adjective to put here) conversations that i've had in a very long time. well, i did about 9% of the talking and he (isn't it always a he?) did the rest. anyway, it was very draining. then i called him this morning. no answer. humph, that's nice.

i really don't think of myself as a bad person. i've been known to be in my own world at times but not bad. there are issues. issues that i've been dealing with for a long time - and finally i'm making some real progress. or so i thought. NO! what am i talking about I AM TOTALLY MAKING PROGRESS. that conversation just had me a little shook. i cried a little & even yelled once. i don't want to be that person anymore. (insert: sigh) my biggest goal is to be a great communicator. i know that i'm a lot better than i used to be (validated by the fact that my family congratulates me on it all the time). they're proud of me for sharing my innermost thoughts and upsets with them. so why did the wee hours conversation make me feel like i took a step back?

i did learn last night that men have feelings too. (message to him: i am so sorry. for everything bad.)

i woke up this morning with dried tears all on my face. eww. crying in my sleep too? damn. and my stomach hurts. geez. i am so sorry. one thing that usually works like a bandaid - trying on cute dresses. i was supposed to be going home to visit my uncle and mom today but the weather is too nasty for travel so they advised me to take a raincheck (haha). so after talking on the phone for a little while this morning, i took a nap (at this time it's like 8:35 a.m.) and then i got dressed and went to marshalls.

groooooooss! remind me never to eat another carb for as long as i live. back fat = fat back = disgusting = never try on anything when you're having a yucky day. so after i finish this bag of lay's rosemary & herb potato chips. no. more. carbs.